Thinking Back

Remember when you were growing up and your mom said something like " I hope you have two just like you"?  Well, I never really thought about it until I did have two just like me.  My son has many qualities that I remember in myself before I became the person I am today.  He is sensative, caring and not very outgoing.  I look at him sometimes and see the thing I did not like about me, but I love him very dearly and would not want him any other way.  I know he will also break out of his shell and be a wonderful man and make some sweet girl a loving husband.  He loves deeply and never wants to hurt anyone's feelings. 

My daughter on the other hand is just like I once was when I thought I was invincible and no one could tell me I was wrong.  She is a very confident person, can be very sweet but also won't listen to a thing I tell her, she wants to know the who, what when, where and why.  We are currently going through some stuff that I have had to appologize to my own mother for.  Although I love my daughter dearly, this week has been really tough on me.  I only hope that she will not let someone break that confidence, or allow someone to abuse her.    She does not let anyone get close enough to know her deep feelings, which is just like me. All I can do is pray that I am making the proper decisions as a parent and that they will make the right decisions when I can't be with them. 

I have heard it said the toughest and best job you will ever have is being a parent.  Up until this point, I thought it was pretty simple, just trust your instincts, but now, I think that statement is pretty right on. 

In case my mom reads this: 

Mom I am very sorry for the heartache I put you through.  I probably would not change it.  I am glad for the relationship we have now because of it. I LOVE YOU.