A New Journey

I have not been on this blog for quite some time and was really needing to vent somewhere. Since I an pretty sure only family are following me or a few close friends, I think it will be ok to say on here what is going on in my life since the last time I posted. Since it was the first of the year, here goes. 

In March,  Brandon decided to take the step to quit drinking for good.  He is now almost 7 months sober.  We are still taking it one day at a time.  He has found a group in which he can belong and it has really helped him to maintain sobriety.  He is a completely different person and our house is more calm. 

The kids graduated in May from high school. Kayla moved out on her own in August.  She is being a "big" girl and making big girl decisions, without the knowledge of a big girl.  She signed a one year lease on the apartment and did not think about how expensive it could be.  I give her props for attempting to "try" this on her own.  I never moved from my parents house until I got married. 

Tyler however, wants to stay a kid forever. He even said when school started that going back to high school would be easier than getting a job.  With this economy, he may be right. LOL He keeps picking up applications, filing them out partially and then not turning them in.  I think her went through this phase when he was in middle school.  Very frustrating as a parent.  We will eventually "force him" to get a job.  We just have so much other things going on right now, that we have not forced the issue. 

We found out last week that we are going to be grandparents.  Yes, you heard that right.  GRANDPARENTS.  We are not happy about it, but we are supporting the decision that was made to keep the child.  This is another of the "big girl" decisions that has been made.  However, while she is attempting to do the right thing with this child, she is not thinking past today.  Which is where I say she does not have the knowledge she needs to be making these decisions.  You know that she will have a baby sometime in the spring, and that is "still almost a year away"  Like, I can think about that another time.  I think this is not a procrastination thing, you have to plan once you know you are pregnant, you can't wait until 6 months to think about where you are going to live, where you are going to put your baby to sleep and how you are going to afford to feed it.  This is why babies should not have babies.  She is talking to a friend who is telling her about all of the great programs you can get on through the state.  Problem is she makes too much money to qualify for the great stuff her friend gets because her friend does not work and does not have a diploma.  But until she talks to me about what is going to happen she will continue to think it is all going to be a great party where someone else is going to pay for you.  Oh, you might ask what does the father of the child to be do?  NOTHING, but he is going to be there for her.  No job, no car, ambition to even get either of the above.  Thanks for listening to my rant. 

New year New Blog

So I realize that I have not been keeping up with this blog the way I should and I am going to give it another try.  Maybe this year I will be able to come up with a theme and others will want to follow it, that is still in the thinking stages.

This year has started off with purging, I took the first week of the year off and did some serious purging because I think I have WAY too much stuff.  Nine bags of stuff to Goodwill and about 3 bags of garbage went out of my house the first week of the year. This made me very happy.  Then I had to go back to work, so the purging started in my office, if I have not done something with it, it is going out.  It feels really good to get rid of the clutter in my life. 

I have lots more to go then maybe I can start the organization program that I have always wanted to have, we will have to see what this year brings. 

Happy new year to all of my followers. 

Thinking Back

Remember when you were growing up and your mom said something like " I hope you have two just like you"?  Well, I never really thought about it until I did have two just like me.  My son has many qualities that I remember in myself before I became the person I am today.  He is sensative, caring and not very outgoing.  I look at him sometimes and see the thing I did not like about me, but I love him very dearly and would not want him any other way.  I know he will also break out of his shell and be a wonderful man and make some sweet girl a loving husband.  He loves deeply and never wants to hurt anyone's feelings. 

My daughter on the other hand is just like I once was when I thought I was invincible and no one could tell me I was wrong.  She is a very confident person, can be very sweet but also won't listen to a thing I tell her, she wants to know the who, what when, where and why.  We are currently going through some stuff that I have had to appologize to my own mother for.  Although I love my daughter dearly, this week has been really tough on me.  I only hope that she will not let someone break that confidence, or allow someone to abuse her.    She does not let anyone get close enough to know her deep feelings, which is just like me. All I can do is pray that I am making the proper decisions as a parent and that they will make the right decisions when I can't be with them. 

I have heard it said the toughest and best job you will ever have is being a parent.  Up until this point, I thought it was pretty simple, just trust your instincts, but now, I think that statement is pretty right on. 

In case my mom reads this: 

Mom I am very sorry for the heartache I put you through.  I probably would not change it.  I am glad for the relationship we have now because of it. I LOVE YOU.

Ripples in the lake of life

When I was a kids we used to go to the lake alot in the summer and I would always try to "skip" rocks. Problem was that I did not have very good technique and usually the rocks just went in with a plop and make little ripples.  Then it became a game to see how big of a rock I could throw in to make the ripples go the farthest.  Well, I think life is like that, only I am the rock that has been thrown.

Have you ever thought about the ripples you have made in your life?  To get an idea, look at your facebook page and see how many friends you have.  Most of these people you have touched in some way.  Maybe it was someone you were not very nice to and you need to make amends, maybe it was someone you were very close to but lost touch, maybe it was someone you barely knew but they really looked up to you.  When someone requests to be my friend on Facebook, I will send them a message to ask how they remember me and if it is only because I am friends with ten of their friends I usually will not add them.  If it is someone I am requesting to be their "friend" I will also send them a message with the request and tell them how I remember them, and then it is their choice to add me or not. 

Somehow I have made ripples in over 100 people's lives and I am not even sure what the ripple was.  Some of the people in my "friend list" have made a ripple in my life.  I want my "ripple" in life to be a positive one.  What about you?

Back at it

Well, it has been quite a while since I last blogged.  Can you say crazy busy?  Our office has been moving for the last few weeks, mother-in-law was in the hospital in ICU for two weeks, home and personal stuff going on.  UGGGHHHH.

The good news is mother-in-law out of the hospital entirely, office has physically moved and was able to get a little work done today, home  and personal stuff settling down. 

Working today and did not have computers operational until almost noon, how did the world ever survive without the use of computers?  There was lots of work that could have been completed without them but since we just physically move over the past weekend, everything was still packed away in boxes.  I think tomorrow will be a productive day, most everything has been unpacked and my desk is cleaned to the point I can actually get some work done.  I will try to remember to take my camera to work once everything has been unpacked and put the way I want it, and not the way the movers thought it should go so I can get photos of my "new" office. 

Luckily, this week is Spring Break for my kids so we don't have school stuff going on, because by the time I get home I am exhausted.  Happy Spring to everyone. 

A long week of learning

It has been a few weeks since I last posted anything to my blog.  I thought I would sit down and see if I could come up with anything.

Last Saturday, my mother-in-law was admitted to the hospital, the week following was completely full of ups and downs.  The ups and downs were not only with her health, but with her family as well.  We thought she had a medical power of attorney and had named me in the paperwork, however, once I found the paperwork, it had no names written in.  That was the first hurdle to overcome.  I stepped aside and allowed her children to take over.  In reality they did not want to do it, and the fighting started.  Currently, two of them are not speaking and one is terrified of another and what is going to happen. 

The one thing the children did not want to handle was the fact that their oldest sibling is developmentally delayed, and the boys have never dealt with it well.  I stepped in and started being the person she could rely upon to assist her.  She is fairly independent for her disabilities, she works, and drives, but she does not cook, cannot pay the bills (she does not know how to simply add or subtract.   She knows routine, and right now her routine is completely out of sync.  She has to check in with some one knows what she is doing and what her plan is and so they can validate what she is doing is correct.  I have been trying very hard to not upset her by telling her I do not have the time to answer her phone calls every 5 minutes and she does not have to check in with me.  I now understand that this is how her brain works and she is just trying to make sure she is ok.

 I know that I will get through this, God will not give me more than I can handle.  I just need alot of prayer especially for strength to be able to allow my husband to lean on me and patience to deal with his sister.  I am really blessed to have the support system for me that I have, without the people, who allow me to lean on them, I do not think, I would be able to allow others to lean on me.  Karen, mom and Linda, thank you for being my strong pillars.  I hope that if the tables ever turn, I am able to be the strength for you.  I love you. 

Digital Scrapbooking

So tonight I went to a crop to learn more about digital scrapbooking, I learned a few really cool things, I can't wait until I get the pages printed so I can see what the final looks like without the computer.  I also got to talk with my friend Debbie and met some new people.  I may have to invest in a laptop soon so I can quit borrowing my mom's and work on my projects at home.  So tomorrow I will be cropping again and I really hope I can get a ton more pages done.  I think I like doing the digital scrapbooking better than regular scrapbooking, plus the stuff you have to take with you  for digital does not weigh near as much as the hundreds of pounds that I use to take with me in traditional scrapbooking and not use because I would only get maybe one or two pages done.  So tomorrow I put what I learned tonight to good use.